Néé. I know you don't want to hear it. I know it's better not to say it all over again. The best thing would be to keep those feelings concealed, under a big, heavy lid with its own lock. Put a chains around it, so it won't keep spilling around. So you wouldn't be bothered by it.
Why?
Because you don't need to know. It's my broken soul which decided to fall in love with you. All those ripped places which couldn't be fixed found a feeling to hold onto. A feeling which should never have been born. You know it. It has the power to destroy our bond.
That's why I should just shut up and never mention it to you again.
Although I'm aware of the consequences... although I know it will never happen because you don't feel that way... although I know I will never be able to have you... Unable to see you and be with you is hurtful. But still. I'm trying to delete any signs of hope for the future. Any hope in you making my greatest wish come true.
It won't happen.
It won't.
Won't...
No, nope...
Just no.
I keep telling myself, so I can get used to the feeling, so I can settle with not having what I yearn for.
But...
But even then, still...
Something in me wants to keep that hope... And that's the problem.
That something is alive, pulsing...
